Praise The Lord....It's Day 5 aka Day 3

I have survived since Monday but technically, I have only been surviving since Wednesday because they don't start counting until the first day of your low calorie diet starts. I have 38 days left in this round! Oh, my...that sounds like a long time.

The food desires are what's hard for me. Being that I work from home, don't get out much and go at my own pace...probably doesn't help much either, huh?

Yesterday was a very hard day for me. There were several times that I asked myself..."can you do this?" and said to myself "this is too hard, I'll never make it and yes, you will because you want to lose the weight and be happier and healthier!" I'm not sure that I convinced myself but we will see.

Today, is my day off and between cleaning house, working in the yard and taking Tyler school clothes shopping...I'm praying that the food cravings and desires will be minimal, at best.

I will update this blog all day as the day goes along and post it tonight...that is why you will see "thoughts" throughout the day.

9:55 AM...I got to sleep in this morning and it felt good. Roger got Ty up and off to football practice for me...what a blessing! Thanks, honey!

I could tell when I got up this morning that my hands were swollen and I was retaining fluid...too much salt yesterday...I know! How do you eat cabbage and lettuce without salt...uck. My weight loss will probably be less than if I had cut back yesterday...I haven't weighed yet. I will do better today with the salt.

Ok...here's today's weight....drum roll, please! 180.4...that is 3.2 lbs. in 2 days. That is great! I'll take it.

I just had my "breakfast" at 11:15 AM and looking forward to lunch which will be a spinach leaf salad with lemon dressing and grilled chicken. After that...off to Memphis to shop for school clothes. I will take an apple or Melba toast to Memphis with me so if I get hungry...I will have a snack. I will also pack my small cooler with my own ice tea. I don't need to be tempted on my first day out and about.

My weight loss support lady, Stacey call me to check on me. They will call twice a week during this round (40 days) to check my weight, listen and encourage. I told her about what I have been battling and she assured me that it was normal.

She said that the first week, my body is detoxing all the bad foods that I've been eating. Next week, my body will have a reserve of HCG built up and the food cravings will have diminished. I have to admit that I am nervous about being able to hang on until then. She assured me the benefits and sacrifice of my favorite food for just short of 10 weeks will be worth it when I am able to add them back and not gain weight. I have to stay focused on the end result.

I hate to sound like I am whining and that I am weak but this is a mind game with me right now.

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Ok...getting out and going to the mall was harder than staying at home. Tyler had to have an Auntie Ann's pretzel and popcorn at Target. My mouth was watering and I wanted it so bad! I just wanted one kernel of popcorn to hold in my mouth and just let it desolve there. Oh, I can taste it now just thinking about it.

I drank my tea on the way to Memphis but had a bottle of water at the mall. Well, it didn't help!

I bought some garlic roasted Melba toast rounds at Target and couldn't wait to get in the car to eat 2 of them. They tasted sooooooo good! I just held them in my mouth, savoring the flavor. I had my tea going home from the cooler...it tasted so much better than water.

Roger was at home grilling dinner for us. He grilled T-Bone steaks and I asked him if I could lick his plate and chew on the bone because 100 grams/3.5 oz. of raw meat...cooked just didn't seem like enough. I am having problems finding lettuce that taste good this summer. It is all bitter and taste nasty, which makes eating a lettuce only salad...well, a little difficult.

I am hoping that being it is Day 3 and day 5 without hormones...was the reason I was so emotional today. I came home from the mall and jsut cried. Everything in me is screaming...I can't do this.

Breakfast: 1/2 Grapefruit with Stevia and tea
Lunch: Spinach salad with grilled chicken and tea
Late Afternoon Snack: 2 Garlic Roasted Melba Toast Rounds
Dinner: Grilled T-Bone steak, lettuce salad with lemon dressing and tea
Late Night Snack: Will be an orange or apple

Lord Jesus, please help me get through the first 7 days. I can't waste money on something that I quit on, I don't have the willpower to do it on my own, I am tired of being overweight and I long to be a healthier size. Lord, I'm just being honest with myself and my readers...this is hard, right now but I am trusting that it will get easier and the benefits will be worth the sacrifice. Please help me to remain faithful when I am weak and wanting to cheat. I can't do this by myself and I need your help.